Gender wars and how feminism, misogyny, misandry and patriarchy are being practiced in Nigeria today by men and women.

Nigeria is currently in a heated cultural moment where gender debates dominate TikTok, X (formerly known as Twitter), Instagram and everyday conversations. Looking at all these, one could tell that the tension is coming from:

Social media culture and “hot takes”,

Changing gender roles,

Religious and cultural expectations,

Economic hardship.

All of these result in “gender war” where men and women often feel like they’re on opposing teams instead of working together.

Now let’s talk about:

How Feminism Is Being Practiced In Nigeria Today

In Nigerian, not everyone practices feminism the same way, we have the:

Mainstream Feminism: This is mostly practiced mostly by educated women and advocacy groups. Whom their main goal is to focus on women’s rights and safety, fight against domestic violence, rape culture, workplace discrimination, promote equal opportunities in education, tech, leadership. We have NGOs pushing for gender-friendly policies, Corporate DEI initiatives, Feminist writers, lawyers, activists.

Social Media Feminism: This right here is the loudest practice in the history of feminism. They use bold provocative statements to challenge gender norms, often clash with traditional expectations, and sometimes come off as hostile toward men. They come with the “Men are trash” trend, TikTok debates about what women should/shouldn’t accept in relationships, criticism of bride price, cooking expectations and financial roles.

Survival/Reality-Based Feminism: Very common among Nigerian women who want to become financially independent due to economic pressure , While also rejecting harmful traditions like forced marriage or polygamy, prioritizing self-improvement and security. These women believe that they need to have their own money before entering marriage so they don’t get stuck.

How Misogyny Is Being Practiced in Nigeria Today

Misogyny is the dislike, disregard or undervaluing of women. And in Nigeria, it’s being shown in different ways.

The Cultural Expectations: They expect women to always cook, clean and submit regardless of circumstances (whether they are being beaten, abused emotionally and physically). While also, in some families Sons valued more than daughters, without minding if the said sons are the youngest. They believe that as a male child, he is expected to be placed ahead of the female child. Also, we have those with the mindset that “a woman’s place is in the home” she is expected to do all chores, take care of the kids as well without crumbling and seeking for the husbands help.

The Relationship Misogyny: we have men feeling entitled to respect even when they don’t reciprocate. They go out there, cheat and disrespect their partner while feeling entitled to respect, because they believe that as they are a man, they are equal to respect. Also, expectation of total female loyalty without male responsibility, Cheats considered “normal for men,” but women punished for same because they have a very silly mindset that “Men are polygamous in nature”

Workplace Misogyny: Where women are overlooked for promotions just because she is a WOMAN. Also sexual harassment dismissed as “just play” and female success attributed to sleeping their way up (where a successful woman is tagged an “ASHAWO”)

Online Misogyny: The ones who practices this type shame women who craves for independence, while also insulting women who are working with the “you will die single” phrase because they believe that a woman who works wouldn’t respect them as a man and a woman with money won’t be able to see a man who will settle down with her.

How Misandry Is Being Practiced in Nigeria Today

Misandry is hatred for men. And this is widely spreading across all social media. In Nigeria, it is practiced in different ways.

Social Media Misandry: We hear statements like “All men cheat,” “Men are useless,” “Don’t trust any man.” Also encouraging their fellow women to exploit men financially even though they are just meeting the man for the first time and regardless of the man’s financial status. And Assumption that all men are oppressors

Relationship Misandry: Using men only for money (“If he can’t spend, block him.”) Spreading a general belief that men deserve nothing emotionally and shaming men who express their emotions while demonizing men expressing vulnerability.

Feminism Misinterpreted: Some adopt a version of feminism that promotes superiority over men rather than equality while encouraging hatred instead of empowerment. Meanwhile, they are just a bunch of noise makers who don’t know where they stand. Most times, they come from a place of bitterness after a heartbreak caused from their past relationship.

Following up the recent event that happened in one of the event one of the popular fashion designer ‘Veekee James’ spoke about women’s empowerment and how they should be able to support their husbands and homes, these set of social media feminist dragged her like a tiger generator while screaming “why should a woman feed her home” one who doesn’t know the actual meaning of feminism

Trauma-Based Misandry: This is fuelled due to: Broken homes, Absent fathers, Past relationship pains. And all of these make some women generalize all men as trash.

How Patriarchy Is Being Practiced in Nigeria Today

Patriarchy remains very strong in Nigerian society. And we have it being practiced in different ways:

Cultural Patriarchy: We have the male leadership in families, women needing permission for major decisions, bride price reinforcing ownership mindset (the ones with the “I paid your bride price and you are my property” mindset) and boys being raised with more freedom and privilege than the girl child.

Institutional Patriarchy: We have the politics dominated by men, Laws historically favoring men and Women discouraged from leadership roles.

Religious Patriarchy: Where we have churches teaching about female submission, Islam’s interpretation of male leadership and Traditional beliefs that silence women.

Economic Patriarchy: Where men are expected to: provide everything financially, lead the household, make decisions.

In all, I will say that gender war feels stronger today due to the economic hardship where men can’t take full responsibility of the family like before and they end up in frustration, women forced to be independent and marriage/relationship becomes more transactional. And also in today’s world, women are now more educated, more employed and more outspoken which makes men feel “lost” in the new system.